Living in the digital age

Berkhamsted psychotherapist and coach Sandra Keys considers how to find balance in a fast-forward world.

In a recent interview on Radio Dacorum with Lyn Drummond, owner of Living Magazines, I reflected on how we create our sense of identity within local communities.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you?

Storytelling is an ancient art – now digitalised through social media updates, Instagram posts, and endless streams of online content. While this offers unprecedented ways to connect, it also brings challenges.

Distinguishing fact from fantasy, reality from curated fiction, is harder than ever, and the constant flood of content can leave us feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from our own truths.

It’s easier than ever to project onto others qualities we don’t recognise in ourselves – self-confidence, wealth or success. These projections shape not only our self-esteem but also our assumptions about others, often carrying emotional impact.

What we admire, envy, or aspire to online may be a carefully curated image, and responding to it without awareness can quietly affect our mood and relationships.

Becoming mindful of these dynamics helps us navigate the digital world with greater awareness and kindness – both toward ourselves and others. Before scrolling, commenting, or comparing, it can help to pause and ask: What am I feeling right now? Is this real, or a story I’ve created in my mind? By slowing down, the screen becomes a tool rather than a mirror, and connection feels authentic again – grounded in curiosity rather than comparison.

Engaging online with self-awareness also strengthens our sense of identity within local communities. Connection no longer depends on followers or filters but on genuine exchange – the neighbour we greet, the friend we meet for coffee, or the local business we support. These moments of presence remind us of who we truly are and where we belong. In the digital age, the real opportunity lies not in constant connection, but in conscious connection. By choosing presence over pace and authenticity over appearance, we rediscover the joy of being part of something real – our families, friendships, and communities.

• Pause: Notice when you feel digitally drained and step away for a few minutes.
• Protect: Keep boundaries around work and online time.
• Reconnect: Seek face-to-face moments that nourish you.
• Reflect: Ask how technology supports – or steals from – your peace.

Sandra Keys is a BACP-registered psychotherapist and coach based in Berkhamsted, offering individual sessions through her private practice via www.carmenta-life.co.uk/about-us/practitioners/sandra-keys.