Domestic Abuse Victim Speaks Out After Husband is Jailed

A Hitchin woman who was subjected to ongoing physical, emotional and psychological abuse for years from her husband has bravely spoken out to help other victims of abuse seek help.

Following a nine-day trial, Alan Tippett, aged 52, of Milestone Road in Hitchin, was jailed for four years and three months after being convicted of coercive and controlling behaviour and two counts of actual bodily harm at Huntingdon Law Courts (as an overflow to St Albans Crown Court) by Judge Grey on Tuesday (16 March). The judge also granted an unlimited restraining order.

His ex-wife, Clare Ashton, aged 46, who had a son with him, said: ‘I’ve been through the worst experience of my life but I’m no longer a victim, I’m a survivor. I wish people could see what I’ve gone through. A police officer described my situation as one of the worst cases of domestic abuse he had been to. I was being so controlled, I didn’t see how bad it had become.’

The court heard how that back on 5 December 2010, Tippett had punched Clare whilst in bed, the aftermath of which had been seen by two of her children, a broken bloody nose. On 13 May 2015, Tippett threw a table at her back causing her significant injuries, which was also witnessed by two of her children. However, the physical abuse stopped when their son was born, but it became emotional and psychological as Tippett controlled her every move, even installing cameras in the house to watch her.

The court heard that Clare had been whipped with metal chains and Tippett had pushed her head down the toilet in front of her children. Her daughter, in her evidence, also spoke about bruising to her mother’s arms.

During her darkest days, Clare said: ‘I felt like nothing, I had no future and I was numb. He had worn me down so much, I couldn’t even think for myself. I became so ill that doctors thought I’d burst a blood vessel but it was exhaustion from the constant feeling of always being in the wrong and feeling so worthless. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror.’

With her physical and mental health suffering dramatically and her daughter now being on the receiving end of Tippetts’s emotional abuse, Clare knew she had to take drastic action and hid her belongings in a wheelie bin so she could flee to safety with their son and her two older children.

‘It’s the best thing I’ve done,’ she said. ‘The moment came when he started verbally abusing my daughter and I knew I had to get away and seek help.’

Clare was put in touch with Detective Constable Natalia Allodi-Robertson, who was the investigating officer from the force’s Domestic Abuse Investigation Safeguarding Unit (DAISU) and an Independent Domestic Violence Advisor who between them supported Clare emotionally, practically and throughout the criminal justice process.

Clare said: ‘I cannot thank them enough for everything they have done for me. They’ve built me back up and been a big part of the healing process. They have lived through it all too. They made me realise it wasn’t my fault, it was all him.’

Clare said after giving evidence via video link: ‘Although it was one of the scariest things, I feel like giving evidence was the most liberating moment of my life. The crucial thing was that people believed what had actually happened. What was once anxiety has been replaced with a feeling of freedom. This has been a pivotal part of the healing process. Listening to the evidence I had to give to his defence lawyer made me realise how much better my life is without him. I am free and have my children safe in a happy home.’

She said: ‘For me I realised that leaving my children in this situation, which had become normalised for us as a family, was actually child neglect. No child should have to see the things my children have. I would encourage anyone experiencing abuse not to suffer any more in silence – things won’t get better. Speak to as many people as you can, take opportunities where you can when you are not isolated. Speak to your doctor, school teacher, tell as many people as possible. A midwife spoke to me about domestic abuse when I was pregnant after I’d been hit and I didn’t take that opportunity to get help. I want to reach out to every woman experiencing abuse and let them know help is available.’

She said: ‘I couldn’t have done this on my own, I’ve had incredible support from Hertfordshire Constabulary, who have such an amazing understanding of coercive controlling behaviour, my IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) and my family. Life is worth living and I feel so much stronger and closer to my children, who are the most important thing in my life. It’s going to take time to be fully back to my normal self but the fact that he is in jail for what he has done speaks volumes.’

The judge told Tippett that he had a ‘ferocious temper’, that he ‘dominated and controlled the relationship’ and that he ‘treated Clare as your property on multiple occasions.’

‘When she angered you, or when you felt the need to put her down and enforce your control, you were capable of using deeply unpleasant violence.

‘Ms Ashton, when she first told the police of your behaviour in January 2018, told them that you had pushed her head down the toilet on one occasion. She failed to recall that, among the sheer volume of information she was able to get across in her witness statement but her two children recalled seeing it. That is the most disgusting, demeaning and contemptible way to treat anyone, let along someone you purported to love.

‘As well as the violence, you spent years demeaning and belittling Claire Ashton, crushing her confidence and her sense of self-worth. It would have been hard enough for her to maintain friendships from her time in the north, living so far away, but you took steps to ensure that it was almost impossible.

‘Even on the night that before the two of you married, you would not let her spend the night away with her bridesmaids as she wished. That would have involved a loosening of your control over Ms Ashton that you could not tolerate. You had also installed a camera in the living room, quite plainly in my judgment so she knew that she was being watched.

‘Your evidence was some of the most manipulative and duplicitous evidence I’ve ever seen, you are a thoroughly dishonest and manipulative man. You sought to do the same (manipulate) to the jury and you failed.’

DC Allodi-Robertson said: ‘Coercive and controlling behaviour is so hard to prove. Victims often don’t realise they are being controlled. Sadly, it is often children who suffer too as they are exposed to abuse. Clare sobbed when she was told the result, just relieved that she had been believed. And that it was all over. Clare has been incredibly brave by telling her story to help others having gone through such a traumatic experience. She and her children gave overwhelming evidence which meant the jury returned unanimous guilty verdicts on all counts.

‘There were times when we thought she would not support the investigation because of how badly she had been broken down emotionally by Tippett, but the most important thing from our point of view was to safeguard Clare and keep Tippett away from her. I hope it will empower more women, like Clare, to come forward and have a voice, because we will listen, and we will do everything we can, working closely with other specialist partner agencies, to bring abusers before the courts to account for their inhumane actions.’

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, call 0300 790 6772 for advice and support during week day office hours. In an emergency, call 999. If you are not able to speak, call 999 from a mobile and press 5 and 5. Help and support is also available from the Sunflower Centre at hertssunflower.org.